DESOTO PARISH, La. — Put away the quill, uncover the fire pit and tell the man who has been standing beside his burn pile since August that his time has finally come.
The DeSoto Parish burn ban has been lifted, effective immediately, according to the DeSoto Parish Sheriff’s Office, following some much-needed rainfall across the area.
The Sheriff’s Office announced the news with a little more flair than the average government notice, declaring the latest installment of the “Great DeSoto Drought — Day 947” a turning point in what had begun to feel like an endless dry spell.
“The heavens opened, and from them came a mighty abundance of water,” the department wrote. “The dust has now settled. The earth is damp. The cattle appear bewildered.”
According to the department’s highly scientific account of local reaction, three grown men were spotted standing on a porch with their hats clutched to their chests, silently watching the rain fall. Eventually, one reportedly asked the question on everyone’s mind:
“John Boy, reckon that’s enough to lift the ole’ burn ban?”
It was.
Word from the Parish Administrator confirmed the burn ban had been lifted, allowing residents to once again conduct outdoor burning where otherwise permitted.
As the Sheriff’s Office put it, Southern civilization can now begin rebuilding. Bonfires can return. Fire pits can once again know flame. And, perhaps most importantly, “We shall know cold beans no more.”
The humor came with a serious reminder, however.
Despite the recent rainfall, officials warned that conditions can still be dry enough for an unattended fire to spread quickly. Anyone conducting outdoor burning should remain with the fire, pay attention to wind conditions, keep flames under control and make certain all embers are completely extinguished before leaving the area.
After surviving what the Sheriff’s Office dubbed the “Great Dry Spell of ’26,” residents can return to their outdoor fires — just with a little common sense.
And as for that fellow patiently waiting beside his burn pile since August?
His hour has finally come.