What’d we do in ’22 

By Teddy Allen

In good ol’ 2022, we celebrated the 30th anniversary of Love Languages, a lady named Amy earned $1 million-plus and made the Jeopardy! TV game show cry “Uncle!”, LSU’s football team won more games than even the Tigers’ most loyal and optimistic fan thought possible, and Port-O-Lets again made their presence known during Mardi Gras as one of the best inventions since indoor plumbing — which turned out to be heavy plastic outdoor plumbing. 

Good times.  

These were just some of the more light-hearted and trivial happenings of a somewhat gray 2022, a year that had this One Big Thing going for it: it wasn’t 2021 or, Lord help us all, 2020, when our leaders didn’t.  

I was born at night, but not last night. 

Actually, I was born at 8:15 in the morning, just in time to clock in, and have been carrying my little toolbox and lunch pail since. Like you, the past two years have beaten all I’ve ever seen and have tried, overly hard, to beat us down. 

But here we are, still flying the flag, like the old man in Hemingway’s The Old Man and the Sea, a little thinner and gaunt, showing some deep wrinkles and splotches, some deep-creased scars, but our eyes are bright and cheerful and undefeated.  

We can hardly afford to buy the toot off a whistle if they were selling for a nickel apiece, but we soldier on. The world keeps spinning and we’re happy to be along for the ride into what we trust will be a more upbeat 2023.  

2022 was the year that brought us Wordle. Remember last year this time when everybody was Wordleing? The fad has worn off a bit, but last spring, Wordle was almost as popular as Taylor Swift. 

2022 was also the year when Top Gun: Maverick became required viewing. Is it the best sequel since The Godfather Part II

Fair Grounds Field was demolished in 2022 — until it wasn’t. Red tape and bat poop sort of sums up the year; the higher-ups don’t want to admit a mistake and get things back on greased grooves.  

Closer to home, we became grandparents in July 2022, a definite highlight. She’s a healthy five months old. Because we are good grandparents, we took her to see Top Gun: Maverick five times and sold all we have except our toothbrushes to get her a Taylor Swift concert ticket. She’ll have to go alone because one is all we could afford but the kid has got to learn to stand on her own at some point.  

We did not get her a ticket to Monday’s Cheez-It Citrus Bowl in Orlando when 9-4 LSU takes on 8-5 Purdue/Purdon’t because although we love Chees-Its, one of the highest quality dairy foods you can eat, who knew LSU could threaten a 10-win season? This is a team that started a receiver at quarterback and had 38 players on scholarship in last year’s bowl game, something called the TaxAct Texas Bowl when Kansas State beat what was left of the Tigers, 42-20.  

Hat tippage to new coach Brian Kelly and Tiger fans everywhere for their expectation-exceeding results this fall. 

Since this is the first time ever the two programs have met and since the only alum of Purdue people in these parts might know is New Orleans Saints forever-hero Drew Brees, you might find it of interest that the nice lady who invented Stovetop Stuffing, Ruth Siems, went to Purdue, as did Orville Redenbacher, the popcorn magnate. Doubtful that either of those things will come into play during Monday’s game — unless the Boilermakers have Stovetop Stuffing and popcorn for pregame. Then we really like LSU to cover the two-touchdown spread. Kick is at noon Monday, Jan. 2. 

2023 kicks off the day before.  

Contact Teddy at teddy@latech.edu 


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