Funeral services honoring the life of Nancy Kay Zawodnik will be held at 11:00 a.m. on Thursday, February 2, 2023, at Kilpatrick’s Rose-Neath Chapel, 943 Polk St., Mansfield, Louisiana. Reverend Dean Register and Reverend Tim Roberson will be officiating the service. Burial will follow at Cool Springs Cemetery in Logansport, Louisiana. A visitation will be held at the chapel from 10:00 a.m. until the time of service.

Nancy was born on June 17, 1945, in Canton, Mississippi, to Dennis and Kathleen McDaniel Anderson and entered into rest on Monday, January 30, 2023, in Mansfield, Louisiana. She worked as a Paraprofessional at Logansport High School. She was heavily involved with the River City Fest Committee, Logansport Chamber of Commerce, and a big part of the Krewe of Aquarius in Logansport.

Left to cherish her memory are her sons, Lance C. Swarthout and wife, Beatrice, Brady Zawodnik and wife, Jenee, and Daniel Zawodnik; brother, Jimmy Anderson; and nephews, Shane Anderson, and Chad Anderson. She is preceded in death by her husband, John Zawodnik; parents; and brother, Dennis Anderson, Jr.

Honoring Nancy as pallbearers will be Jimmy Anderson, Chad Anderson, Rodney Stephens, and Rusty Morris.

January 28, 2023 at 8:11:42 PM CST

Press Release

January 28, 2023 @ 8:00pm

Sheriff Jayson Richardson

DeSoto Parish Sheriff’s Office

Dozens of workers from Union Pacific, EPA, Sheriff, Fire, EMS, and State Hazmat have been working around the clock to assess the current situation, move train cars, address the spill, test levels, control traffic and determine a forward course of action for those residents who have been evacuated.

UPDATE ON THE SPILL

It is important to note that all leaks from the two train cars in question have been stopped. The primary area of impact has been: How much was spilled, what impact it could have on the public/environment and cleaning up the spill. Air quality has been monitored throughout last night and day today. Levels detected earlier in the day were low in comparison to what is considered “action level” or in laymen’s terms deemed a serious concern. As of 6PM there remains no detection or concerns outside of the main impact area.

EVACUATION STATUS

A briefing was held by all agencies at 6:00PM today, it has been determined that the evacuation radius can be shortened at this time, with many being able to return to their homes. Highway 5 between Kickapoo and Keatchie will remain closed at this time. Anyone living outside of the Primary Concern area may return home at this time. Those returning home need to find alternative routes by 789, LA172, and LA5 on the South end. Smyrna Road will be closed between 3015 and Hwy 5, with exception for residential traffic, which will be allowed through.

IMPACT AREA RESIDENT MEETING

If you have a residence within the “Primary Area of Concern” depicted in the image, there will be a meeting at the District #2 / EMS Station at 9896 Highway 5, on Sunday, January 29 at 9am. This meeting is only sharing information to those residents within the area that remains closed.

We sincerely thank the public for their patience, and all agencies involved who have been working day and night in an attempt to make this process as painless as possible for our area.

Photo credit DeSoto Sheriff & La. State Police

Michael Ray Barton entered into eternal rest on January 27, 2023, at the age of 63.

Mike was born to Herschel and Dorothy Barton in Mansfield, Louisiana on April 11, 1959. He was a self-taught carpenter and craftsman of many trades. Anyone that knew Mike knew that he was a hard worker, working up until his last days. If you asked him for help, he not only was going to help you, he was going to show you and teach you, with great detail, how to fix the problem. He took pride in his work, and he loved his family hard. Mike was the baby of the family, but his presence was big, his personality was big, his laughter was big, his heart even bigger. You could hear his laugh from the other room, and he was always going to crack a joke to make light of any situation even in his last moments he wanted to make everyone laugh and that’s exactly what he did. The list to describe Mike is too great but a few stand out; philosopher, crafty, stern but gentle, God fearing, teacher, kind, tender hearted, sensitive, respected, lover of all animals, giving, wise, accident prone (if you know, you know) and so much more and He left this earth way too soon.

He is preceded in death by his parents, wife Dana Barton and brother Kerry Barton.

Left behind to cherish his memory, his son Michael Barton (Adriene), daughters Mathilda Demorest, Dawn Burch (Stephen), Johnette Bourdon, Michelle Weeks, Jamie Lee McClellan (Matt), Annemarie Walker, sisters Lynda Binning Laffitte (Stuart “Boogie”), Kathy Broadway (Travis) Grandchildren Trey, Dakota, Luke, Austin, Jayda, Carissa, Samaira, Genesis, Derik, Fallyn, Isaac, Karsyn,Ace, Braelyn, Joey, Jonathon, Michael Beck, Victoria, Kayden, Alexandria, Noah, 7 great grands and fur babies George, Lil Bit, Lucy, Marty McFly, Speckles, and Duke and a host of family and friends.

Visitation will be Monday, January 30, 2023 at 1:00 pm and service will follow at 2:00 pm at Rose-Neath Funeral Home in Mansfield, La.

Funeral services celebrating the life of Christopher Alan Gray, 35, of Gloster, Louisiana will be at 2:00 p.m. on Wednesday, February 1, 2023, at Kilpatrick’s Rose-Neath Chapel, 943 Polk Street, Mansfield, Louisiana. Reverend Dean Register will be officiating the service. Burial will follow at O.E. Price Memorial Cemetery, in Logansport, Louisiana. Visitation will be held from 1:00 p.m. until the time of service.

Christopher passed away on Wednesday, January 25, 2023, in Benson, Louisiana. He was born on June 13, 1987, in Wheat Ridge, Colorado.

Left to cherish his memory is his fiancé, Stephanie Knight; Baby Gunner (arriving in June); son, Hayden; father, Thomas Gray; father, Connor McLaughlin; mother, Joy McLaughlin and fiancé, Dennis Chambers; sisters, Tiffany Poirier and husband, Jaque, and their children, Tanner, Cooper, Beckham, and Averie, Amber Whatley and husband, Josh,  and their children, Corbin, Ryann, and Miller; brothers, Michael Gray and fiancé, Lauren Armentor,  and their children, Adison, Blaze, Theresa, and Raemi; Connor “Lil Connor” McLaughlin and wife, Deanna, and their daughter, Neevah, Kevin McLaughlin; Great Aunt Nina, and the girls; and a host of aunts, uncles, nieces, and nephews.

He is preceded in death by his paternal grandparents, Albert Jerry Gray and Susan Lee Gray, and maternal grandmother, Marilyn Scott.

Honoring Christopher as pallbearers will be Michael Knight, Brayden Knight, Colton Knight, Jason Finch, Tanner Poirier, Beckham Poirier, Cooper Poirier, and Blaze Gray.

STATE POLICE HAS NOW DEEMED A MANDATORY EVACUATION OF 1.5mi RADIUS

Update issued January 28, 2023 at 1:58:26 AM CST by the Sheriff’s Office.

Our office has been informed that the State Police Hazmat has now issued a MANDATORY EVACUATION of a 1.5 Mile radius of the Railroad Crossing in KEATCHIE. Residents need to get out now. Please see our previous posts on the Stonewall Community Center as a place to go if you have none.

Earlier a One mile area was ordered evacuated.

EVACUATION AREA EXPANDED – ONE MILE RADIUS OF CROSSING

January 28, 2023 at 1:22:31 AM CST

After further assessment, it has been determined to evacuate all residents within a one mile radius of the railroad track crossing on highway in Keatchie.  There is believed to be a hazardous leak which could pose a danger to the surrounding public. At this time, first responders remain on scene and knocking door-to-door informing residents of the evacuation. As a reminder, if you do not have anywhere to go, the Stonewall Community Center has been opened, which is located across from Salem Baptist Church on Stonewall Frierson Road.

Mansfield Mayor Thomas Jones is to be honored in the 35^th Annual African American History Parade Celebration February 4^th.

On Wednesday, January 25, 2023, just before 3:30 p.m., Troopers assigned to Louisiana State Police Troop G began investigating a three-vehicle fatality crash on U.S. Hwy 171 near WPA Road.  This crash claimed the life of 35-year-old Christopher Gray of Lake Charles.

The initial investigation revealed that a 2021 International (empty log truck), driven by 42-year-old Charles Barker of Florien, was traveling south on U.S. Hwy 171.  At the same time, two Louisiana Department of Transportation and Development (DOTD) vehicles were stopped in the right lane of U.S. Hwy 171 as work crews made road surface improvements.  Barker’s vehicle struck the first DOTD vehicle, which was a 2018 Dodge Ram truck, causing it to leave the roadway.  After the initial impact, the International struck the second DOTD vehicle, which was a 2015 Ford dump truck.  Gray was standing behind the Ford and was also struck.  An additional DOTD worker was standing in the bed of the Ford and was ejected from the vehicle.

Gray suffered fatal injuries and was pronounced dead on the scene by the DeSoto Parish Coroner’s Office.  Barker and two other DOTD workers were transported to local hospitals with moderate injuries. 

Impairment is not suspected to be a factor in this crash; however, routine toxicology samples were taken and submitted for analysis.  The crash remains under investigation.

Troopers would like to remind all motorists to make good decisions, such as buckling your seat belt, obeying all posted speed limits, and avoiding all distractions while driving.  By remaining attentive to the roadway, motorists give themselves much needed time to react to changing road conditions ahead of them.

In 2023, Troop G has investigated two fatal crashes, resulting in two deaths.

School Superintendent Clay Corley pointed to improvements to educational facilities in the parish in remarks before the DeSoto Chamber this month. He also expressed delight in academic progress parish schools are making.

Corley thanked community members as well as school staff and parents for the progress made.  Corley said, “I want to thank you for your work that impacts the school system. We’re now ranked the number six school system in the state in academics.  We are a growing system in enrollment, academics and in capital  facilities.”

Among improvements underway, Corley said, “We will see over the next twelve to eighteen months new projects at Stanley High and Mansfield High schools.  And hopefully we will be in our new administration building by October or so.”

Security upgrades and improvements are underway at all campuses.  Corley said they will enhance student and faculty safety.  Working with the Sheriff’s Office they are improving their security partnerships.  Resource Officers on campus are working with kids and influencing their lives.  And that means a lot.

Corley spoke at the January meeting of the DeSoto Chamber of Commmerce.

The North Desoto Football Team is making preparations to celebrate their historic State Championship Appearance as they have their annual end of the season banquet. It will be held on Thursday, February 2, 2023 at the American Legion Post 14 on 5315 South Lakeshore Drive in Shreveport.

The players’ tickets are being provided by the North DeSoto Quarterback Club. Tickets for others wishing to attend are being sold via Eventbrite for $20 per person.

The Guest Speaker for the Banquet is Phillip Deas, former All-American Quarterback from Evangel. Today Mr. Deas serves as the Pastor of North Point Community Church and is a Life Coach and Consultant.

Brad Dison

John Joseph was born in Neptune City, New Jersey on April 22, 1937.  He was raised by his parents, Ethel May and John, and sisters June and Lorraine.  June was 18 years his senior, and Lorraine was 15 years his senior.  June aspired to become a famous entertainer.  In the 1930s, June Nilson, as she was known professionally, began her dancing career under the tutelage of dancing teacher Eddie King.  She danced in several performances and was featured in the opening of a club called the Pic and Pat club in New York City.  She also appeared in several off-Broadway productions.  On New Year’s Eve in 1935, she was featured as a specialty tap dancer in Earl Carrol’s Palm Island club in Miami, Florida.  Earl Carrol was a controversial figure because his showgirls were usually scantily clad.  He was known as “the troubadour of the nude.”  At some point, June returned to the family home.  In 1941, when John was four years old, June moved again to Miami, Florida to work for Earl Carrol.  Her aspirations eventually led her to Hollywood, California.

Perhaps, his sister’s ambitions rubbed off on John.  In 1954, John, then 17 years old, moved in with June in Hollywood.  John found a job as an office boy in MGM Studios’ animated cartoon department.  While at work one day, a producer noticed something special in John.  It may have been the way he carried himself, the way he said a certain sentence or phrase, or the way he smiled.  At the producer’s recommendation, John began taking acting classes.  In 1956, John received his first acting credit for his performance in one episode of a television series called Matinee Theatre.  In 1958, he performed in the film The Cry Baby Killer.  John’s career as an entertainer had been slow in the late 1950s.  In 1960, however, John’s career “took off.”  In that year alone, John appeared in four films and two television series.  Unlike June, whose Hollywood career never came to fruition, John’s career flourished for the next five decades.   

It was through his acting career that John learned a secret.  John was scheduled to be interviewed about one of his upcoming films by a writer from Time magazine.  As part of the preparation process for the interview, researchers from the magazine began exploring John’s background.  It was then that they uncovered John’s family’s secret.  Rather than revealing this during the interview, a representative from the magazine revealed the secret to John in a telephone call.  John sat in stunned silence while the magazine representative revealed that June and Lorraine were not his sisters, and John and Ethel May were not his parents.  The evidence provided made the claims undeniable.  John’s family had kept a secret from him his entire life.  John and Ethel May died without ever revealing that they were not his parents, as John had always been told, but his grandparents.  Lorraine, whom John thought was his sister, was actually his aunt.  John’s mother was June.  According to the researcher, John’s father was Don Furcillo-Rose.  June had gotten pregnant out of wedlock, which would have reflected badly on the whole family in that era.  After careful consideration, the family agreed to keep John’s true parentage a secret.  They hoped it would remain a secret forever.

John needed to confirm this for himself.  John and Ethel May were long dead, and June died in 1963.  The only person left alive who could verify or deny the claims of the Time magazine researcher was Lorraine.  He called and spoke with Lorraine’s husband whom he affectionately called Short.  “A guy calls me on the phone, and says that my father is still alive, and that Ethel May wasn’t really my mother, that June was my mother.”  Shorty was in disbelief and handed the phone to Lorraine.  John repeated the information.  After a moment of silence, Lorraine confirmed that the story was true although she was unaware of the identity of his real father.

John described the discovery as being “a pretty dramatic event, but it wasn’t what I’d call traumatizing.  After all, by the time I found out who my mother was, I was pretty well psychologically formed.”  He added, “I was very impressed by their ability to keep the secret, if nothing else.”  John jokingly referred to June as his “sister-mother.”

John is considered by many to be one of the greatest actors of all time.  He has won 3 Oscars and a host of other awards for films such as Terms of Endearment, As Good As It Gets, and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.  The film for which he was being interviewed when he learned his family’s secret was called Chinatown.  You and I know John Joseph Nicholson as Jack Nicholson.

Sources:

1. Asbury Park Press, January 2, 1936, P. 15.
2. Trey Taylor, “Jack Nicholson Grew Up Believing His Mom Was His Sister,” August 6, 2020.instyle.com/celebrity/jack-nicholson-mom-sister.
3. Swapnil Dhruv Bose, “When Jack Nicholson discovered that his sister was actually his mother,” April 6, 2022. faroutmagazine.co.uk/jack-nicholson-sister-was-his-mother/.
4. Aaron Homer, “How Jack Nicholson Discovered His Sister Was His Mother,” July 18, 2022.grunge.com/621340/how-jack-nicholson-discovered-his-sister-was-his-mother/

An ongoing investigation has been taking place that involves two individuals in regard to a burglary at the U-Store It business in Stonewall.  While investigators are still combing footage and evidence to piece together further details, we are sharing the following screenshots now in hopes that the public may be able to help identify the vehicle and/or subjects pictured.  These subjects are currently being sought for questioning by investigators with the DeSoto Parish Sheriff’s Office.  If you have information to provide, here is how you can do so:

1. In the DeSoto Sheriff App under “Forms & Tips” you can use the Crime Stoppers Tip feature to send info to investigators, and you can do so anonymously.
2. You may visit http://www.P3Tips.com to also submit your tip anonymously.
3. You may call 1-800-505-7867 to speak with a dispatcher who will take your information but does not need your name.
4. You may call our office at 318-872-3956 and ask to speak with an investigator regarding this post.

Crime Stoppers will pay up to $1,000 for any tip that leads to the identification or arrest of one or both of the individuals responsible for this burglary.

Join us at BackAlley Community Theatre as we present our first production of 2023, Anybody Out There? A farce comedy and one of John Patrick’s fastest and funniest plays. This play deals with the metamorphosis of a shy little milksop into a fearless hero after he has been told that he has only six months to live. The action spins zanily on, finding its way to a happy and hilarious conclusion.

Cast members include Barry Larson, Linda Sibley, Bridget Flanders, Lance Ray, Shawn Fargerson, Hunter Tuck, Lauren Piazza, John Derbonne, Ken Murphy, Jim Griffith, and Martha Russell. Lisa Duty is Director and Barbie Larson is Stage Manager.

Show dates are Friday and Saturday, February 3 and 4 at 7:00 pm, Sunday, February 5 at 2:00 pm, and Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, February 9, 10, and 11 at 7:00 pm. Reservations are required.

CLICK HERE TO RESERVE YOUR TICKETS. Or you may go to our website http://www.backalleygrandcane.com to reserve your ticket, or text/call our box office at 318-461-0202. Tickets are $15.00, cash or check only if paying at the door. We offer sodas, coffee, popcorn, and cookies.

By Steve Graf

Recently, I watched a great YouTube video by Elite Series Pro Chris Zaldain. He and his wife, Trait, host a YouTube/Podcast show called “Zaldaingerous,” and I came across a 1 hour 44 min video in which they dove deep into some of the issues facing professional bass fishing. This episode featured Elite Series Pro, Matt Herron, who happens to be a good friend of mine and is never short on words. If you want the truth and perspective of a guy who has made a great career for himself, then Matt is the guy you want to talk with. He will not sugarcoat the issues and has sound advice on how these issues should be dealt with.

In this particular episode, Matt breaks down some of the problems and situations pertaining to professional bass fishing. Matt, Chris, and Trait talk about rules, sponsorship dollars, polygraph testing, the 2019 split, the new open series, and the Tony Christian scandal. If you’re an up-and-coming young man and want to know how to be a pro angler, you better make the time to sit down with Matt Herron. He will not lead you to believe that being a full-time professional angler is easy. If anything, he may have you second-guessing yourself before you walk away. He’ll probably ask you, “Are you sure you want to do this for a living?”

The first topic they discuss is the fight over sponsorship dollars and how the pool has shrunk. He referred to his days of starting on the FLW (Forrest L. Wood) Tour (2003) and how FLW ruined and burned so many non-indemnity sponsors like Tide, Walmart, Gastrol Oil, Land-of-Lakes, Kellogg’s, and many more. FLW did not deliver the exposure they promised all these major sponsors. When FLW folded, all these potentially great sponsors dropped out of the professional fishing market and left only never to return.

The market of companies out there looking to provide assistance to an angler has shrunk dramatically. Matt points out that today, it’s almost impossible for an angler to make it on his own without solid financial backing. He makes light of how mommas, daddies, or grandparents with deep pockets are footing the bill for these young anglers to try and make it. They do okay for the first couple of years, which is all they are guaranteed. Then, the 70% that don’t make it leave the sport with thousands of dollars of debt up to their eyeballs! 

Next, Matt, Chris, and Trait talk about polygraph issues. He and Chris both would like to see more anglers polygraphed after an event and have some of the questions revamped. Matt talks about how he personally knew an FBI investigator and how the FBI conducts a polygraph test. He talks about how the wording of questions is critical to catching a cheater. Then they brought up the Tony Christian scandal that rocked the professional bass fishing world when Tony was caught cheating in an FLW Tournament after his “honey hole” was discovered and investigated. It was discovered that he had made a special basket, put it in the water, and stocked it with bass. The basket allowed for his bait to enter the basket, catch a bass, and exit while the lid closed as the fish came out of the basket, retaining all other bass waiting to be caught. Tony was eventually banned for life from fishing as a professional angler and has virtually disappeared.

I could go into all the topics they discussed on this episode, but if you want to hear the undisclosed side of the professional bass fishing world, check out the episode yourself. Go to youtube.com and search “Zaldaingerous.”  The husband/wife team of Chris and Trait Zaldain interview the anglers that fish the Bassmaster Elite Series. They do a fantastic job of introducing their fans to the harsh reality of being a professional angler. There’s no topic or subject that’s out of bounds as Chris and Trait are excellent hosts with a wealth of experience themselves as professional bass anglers.

Till next time, good luck, good fishing, and don’t forget your sunscreen. Also, make sure to schedule regular dermatologist appointments. If you don’t have a dermatologist, find one!

North DeSoto High sent congratulations to their Griffin Cheerleaders.  Recently they took part in a national cheer competition.

The school said, “They came home as 3rd in the nation in Novice Large Varsity Crowd Performance. They scored a 95.35 and Hit Zero with no deductions both days.”

Tonight begins the 2023 season of Fourth Friday Fish Frys.  Clara Springs hosts these fish fry dinners every month except during their summer camps.

Tonight your host is Fairview Baptist Camp.  They have wonderful chefs frying up fish, fries, and all the trimmings. Leave room for bread pudding and homemade ice cream.

The camp said, “We will start serving at 5:00 pm. Hope to see you.”

Louisiana Tech University’s Professional Master of Business Administration (MBA) and online bachelor’s programs were named to U.S. News & World Report’s 2023 list of Best Online Programs released today.  The online MBA was ranked No. 85 in the nation and was the highest ranked program in Louisiana for the second year in a row.

“Our top rankings coupled with outstanding placement rates for our students — 100 percent for MBA graduates — are evidence of the outstanding education delivered by some of the best faculty in our nation,” said Dr. Chris Martin, dean of the College of Business. “As we continue to grow our enrollment, we also celebrate the increased academic achievements of our students and the high impact research of our faculty. I am proud of the hard work each person in the College of Business has put in to make us the best in our state.”

U.S. News ranked MBA programs using five categories: engagement, peer assessment, faculty credential and training, student excellence, and services and technology. The 2023 rankings assessed 366 online MBA programs.

The online MBA was also recently ranked No. 1 on Fortune’s list of “25 Most Affordable Online MBAs” and No. 52 on their “Best Online MBA Programs” list.

Mary Louis Mayweather- (Snoop)

12/29/1947 – 01/20/2023

Service: Saturday, January 28, 2023 @ 11:00 A.M. Higher Ground Ministries.

Evangelist-Connie Lynn Davis

08/25/1954 – 01/23/2023

Service: Sunday, January 29, 2023 @ 12:00 P.M. Northwest Auditorium 109 Richard Street Mansfield, LA

The DeSoto Parish Journal publishes paid obituaries – unlimited words and a photo, as well as unlimited access – $70. The obituary will be included in the emails sent to subscribers.  Contact your funeral provider or DeSotoParishJournal@gmail.com. Must be paid in advance of publication. (Notice of Death shown above with no link to the obituary are FREE of charge.)

Girls, ask your date to take you to the Sadie Hawkins Dance at North DeSoto High on February 4^th.  Tickets are $5.  Couples are asked to wear matching tees.

Northwestern State University will host Flavor of Louisiana, the university’s most popular fund raiser, Friday, March 17 in Prather Coliseum.  Flavor of Louisiana is presented in partnership with the Louisiana Seafood Board and the NSU Foundation and showcases specialty seafood dishes prepared by restaurateurs, chefs and caterers from around the state, along with specialty cocktails, craft beers, desserts and options for non-seafood eaters. The event also features live music, dancing, raffles, silent auctions and more. 

The Logansport Softball Team will sell fish plates om Feb 4^th as a fundraiser.  Plates are $10 and they may be picked up from noon to 4:00 pm in the LHS gym.

The children learned how to cook Potato Soup at our Children’s Cooking Class at the library on Wednesday.  It was a great day to warm up with a hot bowl of delicious soup.  There were some very brave participates who tasted potato soup for the very first time.  The NWLA Food Bank offers a children’s cooking class at Logansport Library the 3rd and 4th Wednesdays at 4:00 p.m.

From the City of Mansfield:

It is with a heavy heart that I have to make this post.  Our City Clerk, Marvin Jackson passed away Monday night.  To know Marvin was to love him.  Please keep Marvin’s family in your thoughts and prayers as they go through this difficult time.  Funeral services were at Shady Grove U.M.C Saturday, January 21.

I’m reminded of a poem that is only fitting to share at this time:

Don’t think of him as gone away

his journey’s just begun,

life holds many facets

this earth is only one.

Just think of him as resting

from the sorrows and the tears

in a place of warmth and comfort

where there are no days and years.

Think how he must be wishing

that we could know today

how nothing but our sadness

can really pass away.

And think of him as living

in the hearts of those he touched…

for nothing loved is ever lost

and he was loved so much.

District Judge Amy McCartney told the DeSoto Chamber that the court is up to date on processing cases before it.  “There is no COVID backlog,” she said, “We held court all along, just no jury trials.”  There is a jury trial due later in the month.

Judge McCartney reported a total of 9 criminal jury trials in 2022, of which four were for second degree murder.  All resulted in convictions.  She compared that to four jury trials with four convictions in 2021.  And from 2017 through 2020 there had been seven jury trials in four years.

There is one murder trial upcoming.  Judge McCartney said, “Three weeks have been allocated beginning in mid-June to try murder charges against Brian Horn.  And that is the only murder case pending before the court.”

Five hundred sixty-six students were named to the Fall 2022 President’s List at Northwestern State University. Students on the list earned a grade point average of 4.0. For questions about the honor lists, contact the University Registrar at (318) 357-6171, toll-free at (800) 807-8849 or registrar@nsula.edu

These Students made the list from DeSoto Parish:

Frierson — Ashley Furrow, Kayla Joshi, and Madysen Payne,    

Grand Cane —  Trenton Bossier and Arnijah Bradley,

Keatchie — Tara Foster,

Mansfield — Mckinnsey Brouillette and De’Asia Jones,                

Pleasant Hill — Katie Murray,

And from Stonewall — Cloe Bolanos, Taylor Christian, and Sarah Edelen.                           

By Teddy Allen

“Sir, I’m sorry, but we don’t have you in our computer.”  

Can you hear worse news? 

You can — “Sorry, we’re out of bacon” — but it’s a short list.  

Such was the case this week when my friend Shine Broussard called a government entity about something governmental. 

“We don’t have you In our computer,” he was told. Cold words to hear in person, colder over the telephone. 

“Now I’m out here with the gnashing teeth bunch, out here where the sun doesn’t shine,” Shine told me. “No program. No starting lineups. No jersey numbers. ‘Not in our computer.’I’m on an island with the lepers.”  

If you’re ‘not in our computer,’ you are a non-person, is what you are. These days, you have to be in the computer. In a lot of computers, actually. You might be in your dentist’s computer, which is good when a molar won’t behave, but being in your dentist’s computer won’t help you a lick if a kidney wants to opt out of his contract and become a free agent. Then you’d better be in your urologist’s computer. Now. Today.  

There was a time when you didn’t need to be “in our computer.” There was a time when people knew your voice on the telephone, or trusted to some extent that you were who you said you were. Those days vaporized with vaudeville.  

Then you had to be “in our files.” A lot of trees died for those files. If you wanted a Social Security check or a driver’s license renewal or a copy of your transcript, you had to be in the files.  

Now the files are “in our computer.” You are in our files and in our system if you are in our computer. And if our computer says you aren’t in there, well, you can’t argue with our computer. Forget that a computer is only as smart as its programmer, as energetic as its power source and as efficient as the person who typed you “in” to start with. 

It’s the computer, bud. Don’t argue with it. You might as well try to win a spat with Aunt Ethel about how to cook greens or shell peas or do the jitterbug or read your Bible. Good luck with that!  

So if you’re not In The Computer, you’re out of the loop. In a fix. Up a creek. Down the river. Out of luck. In a jam. Between a rock and a hard place. Out of the picture. Off the radar. 

“Sir, I’m sorry, but we don’t have you in our computer.” (That’s just one frantic, lonely step removed from the hazy “I’m sorry, but our system’s down” No-Man’s Land. If the system’s down, you might as well call in the general and tinkle on the fire because the game, my dear friend, is over.) 

I can imagine the computer people talking on their break. “Some poor guy called and wasn’t in the computer. I mean, come on! Idiot…Haha. Hahahahaha….!” 

Makes you jealous of people who are “in.” Things are easier for the in’s among us. But how did they get in, anyway? Being “not in” makes you feel like those people Hunter S. Thompson wrote about in the Gonzo Papers, people who chase something they’ll never so much as sniff. Missing. Back-ordered. No teng .Vaya con dios. Seeya! 

But do you really want to pay the price for ins-manship? First-born child? Life savings? Moe Bandy record collection? What do I have to give up? And here’s a question: What if you get in and you can’t get OUT? There’s you a pickle. 

Such are modern times. All the more reason to hope that when I meet St. Peter, I’m in the computer and the system’s not down. 

(Originally ran August of 2010, when all the computers seemed hot and angry … ) 

Contact Teddy at teddy@latech.edu 

Applications are being accepted by the DeSoto Arts Council from graduating seniors and those attending college and planning on continued study in structured arts program.  There will be a one-time grant of $1000.

The DAC established the grants to foster the study of the arts and advance development of artists.  The grant is based upon merit.

Go to desoto-arts-council-of-la.org for. Information and an application.  Deadline is March 31^st.

Pastor, Joe Huffman, from Southern Hills Church of Christ in Shreveport will be our guest speaker.  David Worthington, will be leading us in worship.  And a local caterer will be cooking up something special.  Men of all ages welcome.  Food, Fellowship and God.  Hope to see you there.

Thursday Feb 2 at 5:30 at Stonewall Community Center.